Thursday, May 7, 2015

A Stirring in My Heart

Something is stirring in my heart and I can't put my finger on it, but I know I will need to write it out. I think I need to go outside more and just sit and think and write

That’s what I told my daughter yesterday and that’s exactly what I did, or sort of what I did. Let me explain…

I walked around outside for a bit, checking on the gardens all the while thinking up a tune in my mind starting with the words, “I looked out across the valley.”  I just knew a song was coming even though I have only written one other in my life. That was when I was ten years old.

I sat down on the hillside, turned on my phone’s voice recorder and spontaneously sang these words in a slow and contemplative way as they came to me. Later I came up with a title. One day I’ll get up the courage to sing it for you.

A Beautiful Day
I looked out
across the valley.
I hear the wind
rustling through the trees.
My heart is full
as I look at the beauty,
Blue skies and clouds
and trees of different greens.
I love this day,
so beautiful to me.
I love to lie in the sunshine
listening to
what the breezes
say to me.

There is a stirring in my heart that change is coming. 

I’m not sure what it all means, but I know God is working in my life. We have had varied experiences in the last few years. Most have been good, some were hard, but we have learned from all of them. I am reminded over and over again of the importance of my family and the love we share. We don’t always agree, but our love overrules it all.

God is stirring my heart, and I believe He is changing me.

I have just in the past year and a half found a new love for writing poems, blogging, photography and art journaling. Sometimes I find myself spending too much time online and with various writing or art projects and have neglected some of my home responsibilities.

I’ve been discontented at times and maybe somewhat self centered, complaining about the clutter in our house but not doing much about it. I’m realizing that if I want change it needs to start with me and my attitude.

With every new thing we attempt, there is always a time of breaking in, of finding the balance. I think I am closer to finding the balance now between my writing, my housework, clearing the clutter and loving my family.

God is teaching me that I can do things I never thought possible.

  • I am right now learning karate along with my sons. Almost before every class I wonder what I am doing and maybe I’m too old for this. Then I get there and am inspired. Our class ranges in age from child to teen to young adult to older adult. We are all at varying stages of belt certification, but everyone encourages each other. When one reaches a goal everyone cheers. It’s like a big family, and I am glad to be a part of it. It’s a good way to learn self defense, and I’m finding that I have definitely improved from when I first started.

  • I am also putting together a children’s nature photography haiku book. I have most of the pictures and most of the poems, so my next step is finding the best way to publish.

  • I have other dreams, too, of using my photography to make note cards or as prints with poems or Bible verses on them.

  • I am also thinking of making some of my other poems into children’s books.

It sounds like I have my work cut out for me. In the midst of it all I am trying to find more times during the day to stop for prayer, to acknowledge God and His work in my life, to intercede for others, to praise Him, and to ask for help. I find the more I do that, the more peace and confidence I have to pursue my dreams and goals.

As I daily yield my life to God, I see that He is continuing to transform me into the woman He means me to be. That doesn't mean He can't use me just as I am now. 

I don't need to wait until I have it all together, whatever that means. 

As He changes me, I can share struggles, weaknesses and victories that may help others in their pursuit of life.

Sometimes it's through our weakness that His power is magnified.  

He can use each of us right where we are. 

Something is stirring in my heart...

What about you? Do you feel the stirring in your heart, too?

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